It has been a pretty good week here. I looked over the construction work that is coming up on my home in the following weeks. It was a week with a lot to do and it kept me away from writing for the most part. For the lesser part, though, I did get all of my ducks in a row. So Monday I will be able to jump right in.
Okay, a little humor concerning cats…
I would just like to say I have a cat. It loves me. It’s not a dog, but I do my best to overlook that, and, for the cat’s part, he seems to do a pretty good job of overlooking my shortcomings too… Like, not being all that appreciative of the dead snakes, chipmunks, mice and birds he brings me. He looks at me like I’m an idiot because, Hey he’s done all the hard work. Hunted it. Killed it. Bought it to me. All I have to do is eat it. So, I have a cat. I do not wish any harm to befall any cat. Please don’t write to me and tell me I hate cats, because it would really hurt my cat to find that out…
I have often daydreamed that the cats have wandered off. Become lost. But, then I think, how will I explain it to Mom when she gets home and wants to know where the cats are? Hmm. So, I came up with…
‘Excuses for why the cat is gone.’
It was past it’s expiration date so I had to chuck it.
There was a terrible showdown between the cat and three mice. I think the mice were carrying knives. It was bad. Yes, they may have been blind mice, but they were friggin’ mean blind mice.
I traded that cat for Volkswagen
What cat? We had a cat?
Other Cat Stuff…
Used cats: You never see ads for used cats, you know, “Gently used cat. Very low miles. Will trade for good dog, beaver or camping tent.”
One of the things I have against cats: They have fur all over them, and since I am in denial about having evolved from some sort of monkey or other animal, it bothers me to know they may rise and take over the world some day. Funny? I’ll bet that’s what the other monkeys thought about 65,000 years ago when Bob the different monkey shocked them all by fixing a hamburger and fries for dinner instead of insects and grass.
Whistling. If you whistle to a dog they’re coming. He or she will be right there. Whistle to a cat and they may flip you off, but they’re not coming.
Things you never hear… “Brother, can you spare a cat?”
“Give a man a potato he can eat for a day. Teach a man how to grow a potato and a cat will probably come along, dig up his garden and crap in it.”
Things I have not seen: Three legged cats. Cats with their suitcases packed (Do they have suitcases?). Cats with a drivers license. Talking cats. Unpretentious cats.
Okay. That is me this week. Forgive me for the cat remarks. I love cats. Okay, I don’t love cats. I like my cat though, and I wouldn’t let a dog eat him, and I really like dogs, so that’s a big deal. It is raining here in New York. It’s nearly 1:00 A.M., it seems it is always between 1:00 and 3:00 A.M. before I finally get the blog finished, and, lately, it’s always raining. This early morning it is appreciated though as it has been so humid.
Naked and Afraid. If you have not seen it, it is a survival situation. They drop a man and a woman off in the middle of nowhere, a deserted island, the jungle, a swamp, you name it, naked and with absolutely nothing except they can each choose one thing, like a flint for fire, a hatchet, etc. Okay, obviously they drag you in with the naked thing, but, the show is actually good. After a few minutes you forget about the naked stuff (Yes, it’s blurred out) and you get caught up in the saga.
What I have learned from this is that men talk a lot but they do not measure up to the ladies when it comes to actually getting things done. Three of the shows I have watched, if not for the women, the men would have been in deep trouble. If I ever walk off into the wilderness I’m taking a woman with me.
Okay. I hope you had a good week. Check out the new White Trash book. See you next week…